Sunday, March 08, 2009

FYI - New "Overheard" Site

It has come to our attention that the "overheard" tradition at UWO is continuing with Please check them out for your daily dose of stupidity-related schadenfreude!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


Friends, Western students, relentless mockers of Western students, lend me your ears;
I come to bury this Web site…

Yes, that's right. As you may have guessed by the dearth of new posts over the past ten or so months, OAW is dead. Although Western students are, as far as we know, still running around with their brains apparently totally disconnected from their mouths, the sad fact of the matter is that the last of OAW's founding members graduated in the spring of 2008, and we are no longer around to bear witness to the stupid. (Also, we just have crazily busy jobs and no Hotmail access at work.) We have been meaning to say goodbye for quite some time now, so we apologize for our procrastination. With any luck, at least those of you who are students will understand.

To bid you "farewell", we bring you a few things that you may have wanted to know about Team OAW through the years:

  • Its founding members are both female, and both from the same faculty.

  • Although one of us did go to UWO for her undergrad degree, we were not "undergrads" when we were running the site.

  • One of us does, in fact, hold an Ivey degree. Also represented on staff were MIT, Music, and Engineering.

  • Yes, we did periodically post our own conversations. These can probably be recognized as the particularly snarky ones taking place between two or three females.

  • We never, ever made up a single conversation that we put up here. If they were invented by people who submitted material to us, there's not much we can do about that. However, any of you who have ever walked around the UWO campus can probably vouch for the fact that we had more than enough material to work with.
Thanks are owed to the undergrad student we recruited to help us out in our final year. Zac, your brand of snark was a new and refreshing change from ours – sorry we disappeared and hung you out to dry in the end.

Thanks are likewise owed to our best friend, "Deadpan". She was a participant in many of our conversations posted here, and, more importantly, in the conversation that led us to set the site up in the first place.

To our readers: thank you for the three-ish years of laughter, eye-rolling, and comment chains that rapidly escalated to the irrelevant and overly political. We hope we've left you with enough archival material to allow you to go back and reminisce.

To our contributors: we sincerely appreciated every submission we got for the site. No, we didn't post them all. Some of them we didn't get; some of them we didn't think were funny (sorry!); and some of them we just plain couldn't come up with a title for. However, your eavesdropping and emailing abilities were what made this site what it was.

So long, kids. We miss you already, but hey – we'll always have London.

Monday, October 27, 2008

"...If I can get the day off from my job at blockbuster."

Girl #1: Oh my god, this is like totally so much fun.
Girl #2: I know! If I graduate, I am totally coming back for homecoming.

- Overheard by Adam at homecoming football game.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

I don't know, but I'll bet it's physical

Student: It's not physical, but it's ineffable.
Prof: What does it mean to eff something?

- Overheard in Talbot College

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

If natural selection has anything to say about it: No.

Blonde #1: I bet in the year 3000 everything will still look the same. But people will have rocket ships for cars. The earth will be so over populated that people will live in the oceans and people will look very different because of interracial interaction.
Blonde #2: Yeah I know! Do you still think we'll be around in 92 years?

- Weldon Library, Overheard by Nathan

Friday, July 11, 2008

"That's why vegans are always rummaging through the garbage at McDonalds."

Fanshawe Girl 1: I would never buy first hand fur.
Fanshawe Girl 2: Yeah, but I would buy second hand fur. It's not like you can rewind it. The animal is already dead.

- White Oaks Mall, Overheard by Anonymous

Friday, May 02, 2008

"Ah, I see you've played cuppy-napkinny before."

Girl: Can I please have an extra cup?
Tim Horton's Staff: Here you go.
Girl: Those are napkins.
Tim Horton's Staff: Whoops.

-- UCC Tim Horton's line, overheard by Jordan

Overheard on the Road: McGill

Girl #1: So these bitches come up to me and they're all like, "Can I borrow your notes for [psych] class? And I'm all like, "No, fuck you, do your own work". I hate those lazy bitches.
Girl #2: Yeah, totally.
Girl #1: Oh, I had my [history] exam the other day... I didn't take any notes or read any of the assignments... I didn't study, either. But I'm not worried - I got assigned seat A-1 for the exam.
Girl #2: That's totally a good sign. You'll get an "A" for sure.

-- overheard by Mike

Which is full of squares.

Army Pants Girl: We have been walking in circles forever, eh?
Plaid Shorts Guy: Yeah, don't talk to me about circles. I don't know about them - I'm in Science.

-- overheard by Rachel

And then the space-time continuum ripped, sucking the entire store into an alternate dimension.

Two students are scanning items at the Wal-Mart self-checkout.

Queen's Student: Hey, these underwear were $8.96, but it's coming up $10.13 as the total. Oh, it must be some sort of discount.
UWO Student: Um, that would be the tax.

-- North London Wal-Mart, overheard by Anonymous

Thursday, April 24, 2008

"I wish there was, like, a book that put all of the words in the world in some kind of logical order..."

Two girls are on their way to write an exam.

Girl #1: Oh my God, I read that chapter over, like, four times and I still didn’t understand it.
Girl #2: Like, I know. There were SO many big words!

-- Lakehead, overheard by Aaron

Overheard on the Road: Rogers Centre, Jays versus Tigers

A couple of Jays fans have just realized that Tigers pitcher Nate Robertson pitches with his left hand.

Jays Fan #1: Hey, I wonder if I'm related to the pitcher.
Jays Fan #2: Why? Are you left-handed too?
Jays Fan #1: No, my last name is Robertson.

-- overheard by Thea

"This accounts for the unusually high number of choking deaths during that period."

Prof: Nitrous Oxide, also called laughing gas. This used to be popular in the 1920s and 1930s. They'd get a bottle of the stuff, inhale it, and... well, laugh. They also used to eat goldfish.

-- North Campus Building, overheard by Jonathan

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Overheard on the Road: Somewhere between Toronto and London

Guy on Cell: When I get back, I'm going to school you at Scrabble. I'm the master at triple word scores... (pause) What do you mean? I drop bombs like "nebula" all the time... (pause) Oh, I guess you're right. That doesn't have a z in it.

-- VIA train, overheard by Beth

Well, it is called the service desk. She probably thought they'd do her laundry for her, too.

Girl: Do you, like, have hair elastics here?
Librarian: No, but we have regular elastics. Is that okay?
Girl: Um, well yeah, I guess.
Librarian: (to other librarian) Did she really think we had hair elastics for students at the service desk?

-- Taylor Service Desk, overheard by RGB

"Which is why I was shocked to learn this week that there are actually, like, thousands of different women at UWO."

Girl: (talking to her friend) Other than me I can't tell any other blondes apart.

-- The Spoke, overheard by Mel

Maybe if he became a cucumber...

Guy: Would you still love me if I fell down the stairs and became a vegetable?
Girl: Well, would your penis still work?
Guy: I would think not.
Girl: Well then no, sorry...

-- Taylor Library, Main Floor, overheard by Graeme

Actually, the shot is more disgusting.

Girl #1: I love blow jobs at the bar.


Girl #2: Ummmm... you've given head at a bar?
Girl #3: Oh, I have, who hasn't!
Girl #1: Okay, I was talking about the blow job shot, but glad to know that you do that.

-- Weldon library, overheard by anonymous

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Overheard on the Road: University of Guelph

Girl #1: Really, you're taking a "Serial Murder" course?
Girl #2: Yeah, it's pretty interesting. And useful. We won trivia night at the Brass Taps last night - they asked how many people you have to kill to officially be labeled a serial killer.
Girl #3: How many do you have to kill?
Girl #2: Three.
Girl #3: Really?! I always thought it would be more like... SEVENTEEN or something!!!
Girl #1: Do you really think that after the first sixteen you're not a serial killer yet?

-- University of Guelph, overheard by Jess

And nobody likes a slutty librarian.

Woman: You come to Ontario for one year for Library school and then you leave. You're like the MLIS slut!

-- GRC - North Campus Building, overheard by Shawn

Sausage: Preferred by Nine out of Ten Drunk Frat Boys

Girl #1: I picked up this guy last night and we were trying to get a cab to go back to my place. Well, he sees the street meat guy and gets all excited and goes to buy a hot dog or something. I finally got us a cab, but he was waiting in line to get his hot dog. He told me to take the cab and he'll call me sometime. I got fuckin' ditched for street meat!
Girl #2: Haha, you tried to take home a guy that would rather put a sausage in his mouth than put his in yours!

-- UCC, overheard by Anonymous

Thursday, March 27, 2008

One way or another, this all comes down to density.

Slightly Drunk Girl: (drops an ice cube into an aquarium) Oh my God, you guys! It floats!

-- overheard by J.C.

"It's not a Führer!"

Crazy Man on Bus: Schwarzenegger is going to lead us into the third World War. Schwarzenegger and Hitler. And all they need is me.

-- Overheard on #2 Dundas

Damn, and that philosophy degree would have taken her so far...

Girl #1: How was your weekend? Have you started your philosophy essay yet?
Girl #2: It was good, went to Jacks and Ceeps. And what? Ummmm, no, I definitely haven’t even thought about that essay? I mean, I don’t know. I’m not really into school right now... Like, I’m concentrating on more important things like guys and partying and stuff...

-- overheard by Bethany

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Somewhere, many moons ago, Tara Reid must have uttered this same phrase...

A girl is talking on her cell in an absurdly loud voice. She may have once been Caucasian, but she has tanned her skin to the colour of baked yams. Her bleached hair is pulled back from her face to prevent it smearing the make-up she has seemingly applied with a trowel.

Girl: Whatever, he'll get over it. I mean, I told him all along I wasn't looking for, like, true love or whatever. And obviously when I said he needed a nose job, I meant a good one! Now he looks all pig-faced. (Suddenly looks surprisingly thoughtful) You know... I think it may have actually looked better before!

-- UCC Tim Horton's line-up, overheard by Catie

"Oh my God... I think that was Aunt Jessica!"

Girl #1: Hey Easter is coming up!
Girl #2: Wait... do you eat bunnies on Easter?
Girl #1: Ewwwwww! We're not fucking cannibals!

-- On the bus, overheard by Caphan

Monday, March 10, 2008

Wow, think of the money she could have saved us in 1999 with this logic!

Standard-Issue Western Girl: Yeah... I didn't really understand Y2K, and then my dad said "1999 to 2000... they might not be built for that..." But I don't get what the big deal was. I mean, they turned over to 1000 just fine. Why wouldn't they turn over to 2000?

-- 13 Wellington, overheard by Michelle

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

"...and then sat on the couch all day watching soaps and eating Fiddle Faddle."

The class is shown a classical painting of a young woman.

Girl #1: (in disbelief) She's so fat!
Girl #2: Well, they didn't go to the gym back then. They just had children.

-- Mythology 137, overheard by Andromeda

Overheard on the Road: Trent University

Spiky-Haired, Orange-Tanned First-Year: (complaining about cafeteria food) Who calls soup "minestrone"? What the hell is that? It sounds French.

-- Bus Stop, overheard by Paul

What, "beating"? Or "bush"?

The class is talking about teamwork.

Professor: You're beating around the bush of "commitment" and "loyalty".
Male Student: Those words are scary to me!

-- Organization Behaviour class for MLIS, overheard by Shannon