Monday, June 25, 2007

Because sometimes, "making love" just isn't romantic enough...

At Korean barbecue:

Girl: (talking about the meat on her plate) Hey [John], could you throw some sauce on there for me?
Guy #1: Sure thing. (douses meat in sauce)
Girl: Whoa, whoa!
Guy #1: Oops, sorry - too much?
Guy #2: (from the next table) What's going on over there?
Guy #1: I think I just wrecked her meat.
Guy #2: Oh, is that what you kids are calling it these days?

-- overheard by MK

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Porn-related battles are strictly dinnertime fare. Manners, man!

Guy #1: Man, there's this intense battle between Jenna Jameson and Brianna Banks right now. They both want to be the queen of porn.
Guy #2: Jenna Jameson's my absolute favourite. I'm not a huge fan of Brianna Banks. Her **** is way too ugly.
Guy #1: Are you kidding me? She's fucking hot. My favourite scene of all time was this 10-minute scene where she was getting banged so hard, they broke the bed. I mean, they BROKE the fucking BED!

The girls in the room give him a weird look.

Guy #1: (pauses) You know, maybe this isn't a great thing to talk about at the lunch table...

-- overheard by Dave

Overheard on the Road: University of Toronto

At a first-year physics final exam:

Prof: Sorry, but everybody turn to question 2. It turns out there's an error with this question, in that there is no correct answer. (He hands out corrections.) For this most grevious of errors, we will extend the examination... five more minutes. Thank you.

-- University of Toronto, overheard by Julian

"And then I stick him with costs!"

Two law students, one male and one female, are talking about the girl's dating habits.

Guy: The thing with you is, you refuse to settle.
Girl: You're right. I fucking take it all the way to trial.

-- TJ Baxter's