Overheard on the Road: Canada's Wonderland

Guy #1: Man, Spongebob's an ass, eh?
Guy #2: He's a sponge!
Guy #1: Well ... but he's a total chick magnet ... eh?

-- overheard by Jordan

The only shock here is that it wasn't the 2 Dundas.

Guy: Yo guy! (points to passenger with smoke coming from pants) You're on fire!
Bus driver: (stops bus) Is something burning? Did someone light a match or something?
Girl: No, some guy's pants are on fire, but it's cool! Keep driving! We'll put it out. (Turns to guy) Pee on him or something.

-- 21 Huron Heights, overheard by Heather

Or as in deaf.

Girl #1: How did you spell that? With a "b"?
Girl #2: No, a "d".
Girl #1: What, a "b"?
Girl #2: NO, "D"!
Girl #1: Like "b" as in "buh"?
Girl #2: NO, like "d" as in "duh"!

-- overheard by Heather

"Or some weird combination of both?"

Girl #1: So like, he didn't call me for like two days, then like expected me to come over like the minute he called again.
Girl #2: Ask him like, are you for real? Or for fake?

-- Brescia, overheard by Heather

Plus he's compact and portable!

Girl #1: Ew, [Steve] is so gross. I don't think there's anyone in the world I would want to have sex with less than him. Except maybe a midget.
Girl #2: What about a really hot midget?
Girl #1: Like a really ripped midget?
Girl #2: Yeah! He could have, like, a real nice three-pack or something!

-- Barney's, overheard by Nikki

No, no, he means the magic bus.

Homeless Guy: Hey, man, I need some change for the bus. I really need to get on the bus. Can you give me some change for the bus?
Teenage Boy: Where are you going to go? Home?

-- Wellington St.

And that is what the French call le zing.

Noisy Drunk American Girl: I am so never getting married.
French Guy: I know.

-- overheard by Quentin

That had better be slang for some kind of drugs ... or candy.

Girl: I'm not a hick ... hey, check out my horse pills!

-- Westchester St., overheard by Dan

An island of ignorance?

Girl #1: Ah, [Kate], is North America a state?
Girl #2: Are you kidding me?
Girl #1: So is it?
Girl #2: It's a continent.
Girl #1: So what are we?

What about the Cyborg Relay? What?

Girl #1: Oh wow, my feet are so sore, I wish I could just switch them with new ones!
Girl #2: Well, if this was the War Amps Relay, maybe you could...

-- TD Waterhouse, Relay for Life, overheard by Mad Hatter

And definitely scurvy-free.

Girl #1: So Annie and I were talking and we decided that he [points to guy behind her drinking a carton of orange juice] would be good in bed. He's just so sensual and romantic and he can salsa. And I bet his dick would be big too.
Girl #2: At least he's full of vitamin C.

-- overheard by Lindsey