Thursday, March 27, 2008

One way or another, this all comes down to density.

Slightly Drunk Girl: (drops an ice cube into an aquarium) Oh my God, you guys! It floats!

-- overheard by J.C.

"It's not a Führer!"

Crazy Man on Bus: Schwarzenegger is going to lead us into the third World War. Schwarzenegger and Hitler. And all they need is me.

-- Overheard on #2 Dundas

Damn, and that philosophy degree would have taken her so far...

Girl #1: How was your weekend? Have you started your philosophy essay yet?
Girl #2: It was good, went to Jacks and Ceeps. And what? Ummmm, no, I definitely haven’t even thought about that essay? I mean, I don’t know. I’m not really into school right now... Like, I’m concentrating on more important things like guys and partying and stuff...

-- overheard by Bethany

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Somewhere, many moons ago, Tara Reid must have uttered this same phrase...

A girl is talking on her cell in an absurdly loud voice. She may have once been Caucasian, but she has tanned her skin to the colour of baked yams. Her bleached hair is pulled back from her face to prevent it smearing the make-up she has seemingly applied with a trowel.

Girl: Whatever, he'll get over it. I mean, I told him all along I wasn't looking for, like, true love or whatever. And obviously when I said he needed a nose job, I meant a good one! Now he looks all pig-faced. (Suddenly looks surprisingly thoughtful) You know... I think it may have actually looked better before!

-- UCC Tim Horton's line-up, overheard by Catie

"Oh my God... I think that was Aunt Jessica!"

Girl #1: Hey Easter is coming up!
Girl #2: Wait... do you eat bunnies on Easter?
Girl #1: Ewwwwww! We're not fucking cannibals!

-- On the bus, overheard by Caphan

Monday, March 10, 2008

Wow, think of the money she could have saved us in 1999 with this logic!

Standard-Issue Western Girl: Yeah... I didn't really understand Y2K, and then my dad said "1999 to 2000... they might not be built for that..." But I don't get what the big deal was. I mean, they turned over to 1000 just fine. Why wouldn't they turn over to 2000?

-- 13 Wellington, overheard by Michelle

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

"...and then sat on the couch all day watching soaps and eating Fiddle Faddle."

The class is shown a classical painting of a young woman.

Girl #1: (in disbelief) She's so fat!
Girl #2: Well, they didn't go to the gym back then. They just had children.

-- Mythology 137, overheard by Andromeda

Overheard on the Road: Trent University

Spiky-Haired, Orange-Tanned First-Year: (complaining about cafeteria food) Who calls soup "minestrone"? What the hell is that? It sounds French.

-- Bus Stop, overheard by Paul

What, "beating"? Or "bush"?

The class is talking about teamwork.

Professor: You're beating around the bush of "commitment" and "loyalty".
Male Student: Those words are scary to me!

-- Organization Behaviour class for MLIS, overheard by Shannon