Thursday, April 24, 2008

"I wish there was, like, a book that put all of the words in the world in some kind of logical order..."

Two girls are on their way to write an exam.

Girl #1: Oh my God, I read that chapter over, like, four times and I still didn’t understand it.
Girl #2: Like, I know. There were SO many big words!

-- Lakehead, overheard by Aaron

Overheard on the Road: Rogers Centre, Jays versus Tigers

A couple of Jays fans have just realized that Tigers pitcher Nate Robertson pitches with his left hand.

Jays Fan #1: Hey, I wonder if I'm related to the pitcher.
Jays Fan #2: Why? Are you left-handed too?
Jays Fan #1: No, my last name is Robertson.

-- overheard by Thea

"This accounts for the unusually high number of choking deaths during that period."

Prof: Nitrous Oxide, also called laughing gas. This used to be popular in the 1920s and 1930s. They'd get a bottle of the stuff, inhale it, and... well, laugh. They also used to eat goldfish.

-- North Campus Building, overheard by Jonathan

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Overheard on the Road: Somewhere between Toronto and London

Guy on Cell: When I get back, I'm going to school you at Scrabble. I'm the master at triple word scores... (pause) What do you mean? I drop bombs like "nebula" all the time... (pause) Oh, I guess you're right. That doesn't have a z in it.

-- VIA train, overheard by Beth

Well, it is called the service desk. She probably thought they'd do her laundry for her, too.

Girl: Do you, like, have hair elastics here?
Librarian: No, but we have regular elastics. Is that okay?
Girl: Um, well yeah, I guess.
Librarian: (to other librarian) Did she really think we had hair elastics for students at the service desk?

-- Taylor Service Desk, overheard by RGB

"Which is why I was shocked to learn this week that there are actually, like, thousands of different women at UWO."

Girl: (talking to her friend) Other than me I can't tell any other blondes apart.

-- The Spoke, overheard by Mel

Maybe if he became a cucumber...

Guy: Would you still love me if I fell down the stairs and became a vegetable?
Girl: Well, would your penis still work?
Guy: I would think not.
Girl: Well then no, sorry...

-- Taylor Library, Main Floor, overheard by Graeme

Actually, the shot is more disgusting.

Girl #1: I love blow jobs at the bar.


Girl #2: Ummmm... you've given head at a bar?
Girl #3: Oh, I have, who hasn't!
Girl #1: Okay, I was talking about the blow job shot, but glad to know that you do that.

-- Weldon library, overheard by anonymous

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Overheard on the Road: University of Guelph

Girl #1: Really, you're taking a "Serial Murder" course?
Girl #2: Yeah, it's pretty interesting. And useful. We won trivia night at the Brass Taps last night - they asked how many people you have to kill to officially be labeled a serial killer.
Girl #3: How many do you have to kill?
Girl #2: Three.
Girl #3: Really?! I always thought it would be more like... SEVENTEEN or something!!!
Girl #1: Do you really think that after the first sixteen you're not a serial killer yet?

-- University of Guelph, overheard by Jess

And nobody likes a slutty librarian.

Woman: You come to Ontario for one year for Library school and then you leave. You're like the MLIS slut!

-- GRC - North Campus Building, overheard by Shawn

Sausage: Preferred by Nine out of Ten Drunk Frat Boys

Girl #1: I picked up this guy last night and we were trying to get a cab to go back to my place. Well, he sees the street meat guy and gets all excited and goes to buy a hot dog or something. I finally got us a cab, but he was waiting in line to get his hot dog. He told me to take the cab and he'll call me sometime. I got fuckin' ditched for street meat!
Girl #2: Haha, you tried to take home a guy that would rather put a sausage in his mouth than put his in yours!

-- UCC, overheard by Anonymous