Monday, February 25, 2008

At UWO, there's more to education than learning.

Immediately before an exam on the Dresden bombing, which saw 25,000 civilians incinerated:

Typical Western Girl: I skipped over all the personal stories of people being bombed because it probably isn't that important.
Typical Western Guy: Yeah, I couldn't care less, I just want to pass.

-- Social Science building, overheard by anonymous

What do you call it when the groom is the one holding the shotgun?

Guy #1: Man, that chick was so hot.
Guy #2: Yeah, she's one of those girls that you pray you knock up.

-- UCC Tunnel, overheard by Russell

"Also, where's the 'engine soon' and why do I have to service it?"

Two girls are driving along when the 'Low Wash' indicator comes on in the car.

Girl: Hey, it's weird that the car tells you when to go to the car wash, eh? I wonder how it knows...

-- Fanshawe Park Rd., overheard by Denielle

Sunday, February 17, 2008

"No. Get back to work, we've got a war to win!"

Professor: Okay, pretend it's 1939 and you're Mackenzie King. What do you do?
Student: Is this hypothetical?

-- Overheard at King's

Knowledge minus Wikipedia equals zero.

A bunch of people in Weldon are in working on a business feasibility project

Guy 1 (to guy two): Dude, are you wikipedia-ing "break even"
Guy 2: I need to memorize the formula!

-- Overheard by Jonathan

Thursday, February 14, 2008

The liver damage is forever.

Typical Western Guy: The beer is for fun. The alcohol is for drunk.

-- 13 Wellington

He's probably just been busy working overtime to buy her an engagement ring.

A few days before Valentine's Day...

Girl #1: So yeah, like, you know how you can totally tell a guy is into you? I mean we stayed up aaaall night after we screwed around, just talking, you know? And it just really meant a lot and I knew it was just such a special night.
Girl #2: Yeah totally. So are you guys doing anything for Valentine's?
Girl #1: No... Well, maybe. I don't know - we haven't really spoken about it.
Girl #2: Oh. So when was the last time you guys spoke?
Girl #1: Well, you know, that night I told you about over the Christmas holidays.


Girl #3: (jumps in really quick) Oh yeah, well, I am sure he will call soon.
Rest of the group: Oh yeah, totally.

-- Around the mirrors in a UWO washroom, overheard by Heather

Just in time for Black History Month... (We are so relevant!)

Guy: So today I was a confederate for a psych study.
Girl: OMG, you believe in slavery?

-- overheard by Ben

Overheard on the Road: Laurier

Girl #1: Valium makes me happy. Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy!
Girl #2: Maybe you should have stayed overnight at the hospital...

-- #7 bus, overheard by Gina

Well, the best defence is a good offense...

Girl #1: (after nearly being hit by a car with veteran license plates) Whoa! You'd think they'd have taught him to maneuver a vehicle at veteran school!
Girl #2: You mean the war?
Girl #1: ... I said what I said.

-- Oxford St., overheard by Tiffany

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

"...but you still get a gold star and first pick of toys for playtime."

The professor is lecturing about the Drury Lane Theatre. A girl puts up her hand.

Girl: Drury Lane, isn't that where the Muffin Man lives?
Prof: That has nothing to do with what I'm talking about.

-- English 020, overheard by Alicia

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Please be an English major. Please be an English major.

Girl #1: I hate chem labs. This one time in high school, I spilled hydrochloric acid on the table and it burnt a hole in the table. I signed my name beside it so people would see.
Girl #2: Wow, that must have been really strong HCl. What was the concentration?
Girl #1: Yeah, I have no concentration. I'm not a patient person.
Girl #2: (pause) Yeah....

-- UCC, overheard by Angela

Just in time for St. Patrick's Day...

Girl: (holding Gain laundry detergent bottle) Excuse me, but will this green laundry detergent turn the water green?

-- Downtown laundromat, overheard by Anonymous

Personally, we prefer a fanny pack.

Guy: (having a conversation about spooning) Sometimes it's fun to be the little spoon. Except when the girl is shorter than you, you sometimes feel like you're wearing a backpack.

-- Richmond Row, overheard by Tiffany