"But now that you mention it, I do have a great idea for this Michael Jackson costume..."

Girl #1: Okay, we really need a theme for this party.
Girl #2: How about a black and white party?
Girl #1: (clearly joking) Geez, [Mary], why does it always have to be about race with you?
Girl #3: Oh... I thought you guys were talking about black and white clothing...

-- Althouse, overheard by Tara

There goes the social life...

Standard-Issue Western Girl: (with her fingers in her mouth): Oh my God, guys, I can actually FEEL the cavity in my mouth. I'll put my fingers there, and feel the hole... It hurts like a bitch when I do it though, so I don't do it all that often.

-- Masonville Mall, overheard by Anonymous

"I mean, what if I want to marry rich and just do whatever my husband says for the rest of my life?"

Standard-Issue Western Girl: Feminists are bitches. They only exist to make our lives worse.

-- Western "Cheeseblocks", overheard by Leanne

New Year's resolutions: the ironing is delicious.

A girl on a cell is struggling to light a cigarette.

Girl: (into cell) I don't have much time. I've got to run to my cardio class.

-- Outside the UCC, overheard by Thurman

"Fake" + "white" = too easy. Your joke about UWO here.

Girl #1: When I was 4 I had just grown in all of my baby teeth and a buddy I played with was pushing me in a stroller down the driveway really fast and when we hit the edge of the sidewalk I fell out and I lost my front four teeth. It was so bad I had to get braces when I was 8.
Girl #2: So those are fake teeth? They are so white.

-- Perth Hall bus stop, overheard by Sam

But it may scientifically explain Mariah Carey's appeal. Then again...

The professor is lecturing about the range of human hearing.

Prof: So females can usually hear higher pitches than males.
Girl: Is that why girls can sing higher than boys?

Pause

Prof: No.

-- Digital Music Class, overheard by Emily

"And, like, people r...rea...rea-ding!"

Girl #1: So, like, have you ever been to Weldon library?
Girl #2: No! What's there? Like... books?
Girl #1: Like, so many books!

-- Talbot College Airport Lounge, overheard by Jason

And yet they let her teach!

Female English Major #1: Oh my God, that prof was such a bitch! She was all, "I'm smarter than you!" AND she even wanted us to memorize, like, twelve whole lines of poetry! I mean, we can't all be road scholars, or whatever!
Female English Major #2: (clearly disgusted by classmate's stupidity) She was a Rhodes Scholar. It means she went to Oxford. She went there after getting her PhD from Harvard.
Female English Major #1: Yeah... well... she was totally fat.

-- Renaissance Literature, overheard by Catie

Overheard on the Road: University of Guelph

Guy #1: So do you guys have ATMs in Nova Scotia?
Guy #2: Uh... no, we just traded fish.

-- overheard by Jenn

That would make it much more difficult to transmit...

Girl: Hey, do you know anyone with A.D.D?
Guy: What's A.D.D? An S.T.D?

-- overheard by Sarah Jane

"The marble fireplace and panic room come standard, right?"

A group of girls is discussing looking for a house for next year.

Girl: Yeah, well, we've seen houses before, and we know what they look like.

-- Delaware Main Lounge, overheard by Mila

"But it comes so naturally and is so often justified!"

Prof: All right, so we're going to split up tutorial groups by last names. A-F, G-McMoore, McMoore to Zoricov.
Girl: Could you write that on the board?
Prof: Yes, I guess, if you need to see the sheet you can look afterward. But I trust you all know how the say the English alphabet.

Silence.

Prof: (laughing) I didn't mean to be, uh, condescending.

-- overheard by Kate