Thursday, January 17, 2008

New Year's resolutions: the ironing is delicious.

A girl on a cell is struggling to light a cigarette.

Girl: (into cell) I don't have much time. I've got to run to my cardio class.

-- Outside the UCC, overheard by Thurman


Anonymous Anonymous said...


2:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, like, do the brain cancer from the cell phone and the lung cancer from the smoking get cancelled out by the cardio?

10:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They totally do! It's science!

1:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"So, like, do the brain cancer from the cell phone and the lung cancer from the smoking get cancelled out by the cardio?"

Is that a comment or confirmation that you understand why this is funny? I now am confirming that I understand that you understand, ok?

10:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smoking will make her thin. That, and a finger down her throat after every meal... actually, because she's a Western girl, should use 2 fingers to account for her non-existent gag reflex.

5:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

10:38, you're a douche. Are you from IVEY? The humour in the comment has nothing to do with cancer, and 10:57 NOT ONLY linked them, BUT ALSO threw in a but of valley girl language to make fun of Western girls everywhere. Well played, 10:57.

1:51 PM  
Anonymous Curious in NatSci said...

I heard a rumour on campus that Ivey is the most prestigious faculty at Western. Is this true?

12:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

12:31, are you "curious" as in bi-curious? Just take a deep breath, relax your throat, and take it all the way...

I heard a rumor that natsci is the gayest faculty on campus... is this true?

P.S. Ivey Sucks. UWO exists only because of the music faculty.

10:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You music folks make it clear that you're playing for the other team.

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cigarettes are great.

9:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, 1:51 (douche), that's the joke. That's why it says she's on a phone, with a cigarette. The humour lies in the context in which the comment is said. If the context was taken away, all you would have is the lame half-irony of running to a cardio class. Even then, driving to one is funnier (but it's an old joke, anyhow).

Are YOU from Ivey? Or the music department, perhaps?

10:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

10:39, you douche, I hate to point out the obvious, but without the cellphone there would be no conversation to overhear. The humour lies in the context indeed. Cancer, you may know, is only one of the many joys of smoking. Shortness of breath, smoker's cough, tar coating the lungs inhibiting the uptake of oxygen - essentially the opposite effects of cardio! Who'd have thought? Prevention of lung cancer, however, is not one of the benefits of running. Thus, connection of cellphone and smoking... addendum to joke.

If only I could be from Ivey AND the music department...

11:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It isn't funny because she expects the positive effects of cardio to expand her lung capacity, while the negative ones of smoking negate her progress. It's funny because no matter how healthy she gets, the carcinogens or radio waves or whatever are likely to kill her in a decade or two, no matter how well she can breathe. The source of the conversation isn't important. The cell isn't there to let you know where the conversation came from (she could have been talking to a friend in person, but that would be irrelevant, and not recorded, because no one would give a shit). It's there because it furthers the whole irony of her reaping the benefits of cardio work, while ignoring the fact that she's growing tumor farms on her vitals. That's not an addendum to the joke - it's the joke.

And now it isn't funny anymore, because I just analyzed every ounce of humour out of it.

Fuck. Sorry, guys.


12:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sure, but you were wrong. So it's still funny.

1:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dear music faculty guy,

there's no such "faculty" as natsci. so i have to conclude that you're an idiot.

1:09 PM  

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