"It's probably 'cause I'm so good at writing my own name!"

Two girls are talking between stalls in the women's washroom.

Girl #1: So, we were working on dividing up the presentation... we've decided on who is responsible for which areas of analysis.
Girl #2: Ooooh, can I do the title slide?
Girl #1: Um, sure...
Girl #2: YES! I'm SO good at title slides!

-- Ivey, overheard by Emily

Exchange student? UWO admissions standards at an all-time high? You be the judge.

Guy #1: It was in Montreal.
Guy #2: Montreal... is that in Ontario or Quebec?

-- In front of UCC, overheard by Angela

London youth: reaching for the stars.

High School Girl #1: Yeah, so I was talking with my dad about the future, right? And he was like, "If you ever wind up homeless, go up to a cop in the first week of December and punch him in the face. You'll get six months, and have a warm place to sleep during the winter." Can you believe that?
High School Girl #2: Wow. My dad just tells me to stay in school. And not get pregnant.

-- 13 Wellington, overheard by Jean

"It's probably a joke by the same fakers that came up with 'gravity'."

Guy: You know, I don't think autism really exists.

-- Richmond 6, overheard by Tyler

Wait'll she hears that birds and bees are involved.

Ditzy Girl: You know what's ugly? Pregnant people. I mean, fat people are considered ugly by society... why aren't pregnant people?
Studious-Looking Girl: Ummm... because pregnant people are growing a human life inside them and fat people are just fat because they eat too much.
Ditzy Girl: Yeah, I never thought of that. It's pretty gross, huh? They are growing a person inside their stomach! Isn't that a little Alien-esque?
Studious-Looking Girl: ... No, I think it's pretty human.

-- Richmond and Oxford Bus Stop, overheard by Jane

A velvet gutter?

Girl #1: I don't think I'd be overly extravagant if I won the lottery. I'd probably just have a nicer student lifestyle. You know, pay off debts, get a TV that I can see without my glasses on, maybe buy a car...
Girl #2: I'd blow all my winnings on Fabergé eggs and then die in a gutter.

-- Richmond St.

Please be a math exam.

A guy and two girls are walking to an exam talking about the lowest mark they need to pass the course.

Guy: What's half of 150?
Girl: 70... (pauses)... Uhh... 75.
Guy: Oh! That's okay, I can do that.

-- Corner of Middlesex and Perth, overheard by Jonathan

Overheard on the Road: University of Guelph

Guy: I don't understand people with Tourette's syndrome. Why don't they just not do it?

-- Sunday Night Cinema, overheard by Kathryn

Check your facts, man. Marmaduke's been running since 1954.

A guy is using his laptop, waiting for class, when he sees someone he knows walk in.

Laptop Guy: Dude! You have to see this!
Friend: What is it? (Walks over to look at laptop screen.)
Laptop Guy: (unreasonably loudly in a dead silent hallway) It's this new comic... they use the F word AND the C word!
Friend: NO WAY!

-- Middlesex, overheard by L.S.