Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Some people stay sober by personal choice; others just can't afford to have their cognitive functions impaired.

Girl #1: I’ve never been around anyone that’s been drunk.
Girl #2: I’ve been drunk a few times.
Girl #1: What is a high percent, like 1% or 2%? What percent is beer?
Girl #2: Beer is 5%.
Girl #1: Is it wine that is made from grapes?
Girl #2: I think all alcohol is made from grapes. Beer and wine and whiskey and stuff.
Girl #1: Are you sure? I don’t think they all are...
Girl #2: Yeah, I’m positive. The only difference is how many years they let it ferment. Is that it, ferment? Yeah, ferment.
Girl #1: How much beer do you need to drink before you die?
Girl #2: I’m not sure if you can die from beer. I couldn’t say for sure.
Girl #1: I’m not considering suicide or anything. I just wondered.
Girl #2: It’s funny that you don’t know. All of this stuff is common knowledge to me.

-- Nat. Sci. Gen. labs, overheard by Pete

28 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus Christ. Girls are so fucking stupid!

For a minute I was thinking of converting to homosexuality. Then I realized that I don't have to listen to girls while I plow them - and that's all that matters, right?

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

5 bucks says 11:20 is a virgin

1:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

agreed

7:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

watch out, some western girls will fix that problem of his for less than that.

besides that, it's a sure bet.

7:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you ever get the feeling that people are making this shit up, and walking around campus spouting crap like this just in the hopes of someone overhearing them and sending it in to OAW?

Nobody can be this ridiculously stupid...

9:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^ Shut the fuck up with your ridiculous conspiracy theories, you useless buttfucking asswipe!

10:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the best part is that she's condescending about it... "it's funny that you don't know".... bahahahahaha

12:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alot of Americans come to UWO, and having little experience with alcohol, due to a higher drinking age/ religious persuasions, so this post is sorta believable. You can always tell an American at the bars in September, always puking on the dancefloor or getting thrown out for being drunk as fuck. Plus, you have to account for their watered down swill that they call beer... even Blue tastes like shit south of the border.

Reminds me of that Saved By The Bell episode where Zack gets plastered off of 1 can of "lite beer" at the party and crashes his car...

And oh ya, I lost my virginity to 11:20's mom last night.

1:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^ Dude. American's are almost as stupid as girls. Almost.

1:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love how I put an apostrophe in "American's". Irony is a bitch.

1:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1:51 - "even Blue tastes like shit south of the border"

Buddy, Blue tastes like shit no matter what side of the border you're on.

9:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i bet they were wearing uggs

10:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love that you managed to make this all about ugg wearing americans somehow... like there aren't millions of stupid people with bad fashion sense born right here in canada.

1:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1:14 is ghey

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1:14 is ghey

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1:14 is an Ugg boot wearing American

5:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best thing about American beer? 30 for $13, and their buck-a-beers are as good as our premiums.

7:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

7:33 - Are you kidding me? The milk I put in my cereal has more alcohol than that American shit. American beer is the epitome of suck.

Stupid American's.

8:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^ American piss-watered-down lager has 1% less alcohol than Canadian piss-watered-down lager.

Molson sucks as much as Bud....

but give me sam adams any day.

10:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Umm, just a little clarification for you guys. American beer contains the same alcohol content as Canadian, they're brewed in the same vat. Americans just list their acholol by volume, whereas Canadians list it by weight. Sorry to burst any bubbles, but they contain the same amounts of alchohol.

10:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keiths...

11:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hate to play Devil's Advocate, but I don't think 11:20 is a virgin. A true virgin would've used a funnier, more innocent word than "plow."

♪Oh Mister Plow,
That's my name,
That name again
Is Mister Plow! ♫

7:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I disagree. You don't learn words like "plow" from experience.

11:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you sure this wasn't overheard on the road ABU?

9:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My brain just exploded.

5:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey 10:18, you got it backwards. Canadians measure by volume, that's why your beer bottle says "5% alcohol by volume" on it.

5:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you ever get the feeling from reading all this that society is just about to crash?

11:22 AM  
Blogger Sophie said...

omg are they for real...?

7:19 PM  

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