Thursday, October 12, 2006

Parenting by Example: A Chronicle

A family of four approaches a bus stop. The parents are in their early thirties, the boy is five, and the girl is around the same age. The kids are running amok.

Father: (yelling) Stop running around or you'll fall and get yourselves dirty! (The kids ignore him.) Stop it! If you get yourself dirty, you won't go to Nana's! (The kids continue to run around, screaming and laughing.) Okay, if you fall and get yourself dirty, you're going right back home! I'll call Nana and tell her we're not coming!

After continuing to try this tactic for five minutes or so, the father picks up the boy and sets him down beside the bus shelter.

Father: Stay put! Or you're not going! (The daughter is still on the loose.) [Jenny]! Stand beside your brother NOW!
Mother: [Jenny]! Stand beside [Jack]!

The father attempts to get [Jenny]. [Jack] runs off to stand with his mother. The father gets [Jenny] and places her beside the shelter.

Father: [Jack]! Stop running around! If you fall, you're going back home, I mean it! Stand beside your sister!
Mother: He doesn't want to stand there!

The father picks up his son and places him beside his daughter. [Jenny] pushes [Jack] away. [Jack] runs off again.

Mother: That's why he doesn't want to stand there! Will you fucking leave him alone? He was fine standing with me!
Father: Okay, if you're giving me that attitude, YOU'RE not going to Nana's.
Mother: What!? What's about YOUR attitude!? You woke up with an attitude this morning! Stop arguing with a five-year-old!
Father: Okay, that's it, I'm going home. (He walks away.)
[Jack]: Is Daddy going to come back?
Mother: I don't give a shit whether Daddy comes back or not! (yells to the husband) Give me a key so I can get back into the house!

The father continues walking. Frustrated, the mother takes her children and walks back to her house. Five minutes later, the family returns.

Father: If you fall and dirty yourself, you're not going to Nana's!

-- Limberlost, overheard by Tim


Anonymous Anonymous said...

HYSTERICAL! Obviously the kids dont care about going to see Nana. Solution? Beat the children. "If you fall and dirty yourself, I'm gonna beat your ass"

4:50 PM  
Blogger ladyamazing said...

Hahahahaha! Those kids really don't care for their dad!

4:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

geez...someone really needs to slap those kids around!!! whatever happend to a good ole beating?

7:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They take after the mother. She needs a good beating too.

7:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, Limberlost: A little bit of E.O.A. in the West end. Kinda like the Metro zoo, but less civilized.

7:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If this is the current standard of parenting, I weep for the future.

9:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol so funny..sounds like my family haha

10:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that kinda makes my heart hurt a little bit.

10:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm calling bullshit on this one. Who remembers THIS MUCH of a conversation?

10:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Apparently someone who stands at a bus stop with nothing else to do.

Who can make up such a conversation?

10:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like Britney Spears and Kevin Federline

2:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dont u wanna just punch ppl like this??

3:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You'd have to know the "Limberlost Ghetto" to understand. This is mild compared to some of the conversations I heard while catching the Orchard park there. (No, I can't remember them, otherwise I'd have submitted them already.)

10:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

waiting for godot.

2:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


11:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The most disturbing part of this whole scene is the fact that in 10 years, when little Annie is 15 years old, the stupid gene will be reproduced in the form of baby Billy. And then 11 months later, Billy will be followed by baby Jenny... And so this family continues to pee into the human gene pool.

7:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Annie will run in front of the bus by that time

10:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^ hahaha... ouch.

10:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

people like this should either be deported or legally precluded from breeding.

11:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think both of those kids should be post-delivery aborted... and the parents should be made to watch... and then the same should be done to them... twice

10:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

people like this should either be deported or legally precluded from breeding.

Yep, eugenics really is the only answer for problems like this. Where is Josef Mengele when we really need him?

4:58 PM  
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3:20 AM  

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