Thursday, April 06, 2006

Better or worse than a sack and a river?

Guy: Yeah, my buddy's cat is dying, it has flesh-eating disease or something. And his dad told him to just hit it over the head with a shovel, but he couldn't do it.

-- Spoke, overheard by Karly

21 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just donate the cat to orient express. They'll know what to do with it!

10:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Having a flesh-eating disease" sounds like a pejorative way for vegetarians to refer to people who enjoy a Big Kahuna Burger (mmmm...tasty!) from time to time.

Also, I can endorse the shovel as a reliable means for dispatching unwanted family members to the great beyond. Gramps never saw it coming, may he continue to rest in a flat, pancaked piece...

11:05 AM  
Blogger ka_boom said...

1105, nice Pulp Fiction reference.
(My girlfriend's a vegetarian, which pretty much makes me a vegetarian...)
dazz.

1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The dad is an asshat for suggesting a shovel as a form of euthanasia. He should be slowly beheaded with a dull knife.

2:14 PM  
Anonymous Rob said...

You could just blast it with a .22 like my old man did...

2:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

strap some dynamite to it and see what happens...

3:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

aw... this post made me sad :(...

6:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or you could tie a piece of buttered bread to its back (butter side up), toss it off a building, and see which cliche is more true - that a cat always lands on its feet or that buttered bread always lands butter side down. :)

6:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or you could tie a piece of buttered bread to its back (butter side up), toss it off a building, and see which cliche is more true - that a cat always lands on its feet or that buttered bread always lands butter side down. :)

6:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

god damn lag... i thought it crashed when it actually posted. oh well, now i'm twice as not funny. :)

6:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm. I'm pretty sure I was part of this conversation. Sweet!

6:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my grandma prefers the method of a 2x4 straight to the kidneys. She no longer has stray cats wandering in her yard.

8:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

6:18 is brilliant.

11:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliantly unoriginal!

And in case anybody was wondering why toast always (at least 95% of the time) lands butter side down, it's simple physics. Humans are too short and the height of our countertops condemn us to a life of watching butter meet linoleum.

http://www.geocities.com/Omegaman_UK/bread.html

You're welcome.

12:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

10:25 reminds me of my first-year stats textbook that graphed a statistical correspondence between the number of stray cats in a neigbourhood decreasing while the number of chinese-food restaurants was increasing.

gotta go... got a lunch-date at Fu Lam Kitty :)

7:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I doubt there was a stats book like that, I think people might be incredibly offended by that example. lol

9:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

- -
- -
- -
- -
- -
- - Chinese food
Stray - - Customers
Cats -> - - <-
- -
-
- -
- -
- -
- -
- -
- -
- -
- -
- -
- -
- -
---------------------------------
Time ---->

Coincidence? I think not. From the text: "Fun With Statistics: Introducing Fun to Statistical Analysis." By Dr. I. E. Katzenburger. (Toronto: U of T Press, 1999) 7th ed.

The Friendly Critic :)

1:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It didn't format properly, it was supposed to be big X and a graph :(

1:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's amazing. I bet an asian didn't write that book.

4:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can tell from 2:14's comment that he's much more sympathetic. What a douche.

11:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a douche indeed.

5:16 PM  

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