Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Doctor Penfield, I smell a dumbass.

Ugg Girl: If you like, randomly smell toast, you are going to have a heart attack.
Sweatpants Guy: What? Really?
Ugg Girl: Everyone knows that!

--Nat Sci, overheard by Mary

33 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

An UGG WEARER! We must forcibly remove the heinous creature from the gene pool immediately! Grab the nearest pointy object, and let's be off to hunt down and destroy this abomination of nature at once!

-Bob, the UGG Conquerer

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pfft, this girl really is dumb! Everyone knows that burnt toast gives you SEIZURES... It's true, I saw it on one of those "part of our heritage" CanCon-upper commercials between the real shows.

11:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wasn't burnt toast the thing that people reported smelling when doctors would poke around in their brains? You know, like, for some experiments. I'm pretty sure it was, myself.

Anyway, ipso facto, that means everyone who smells toast for no reason has brain damage. You know, as a genetic inheritence from some ancient, yet ugly at the time, woman. 'Ugly woman' was her name - the one that nobody in particular ever called her.

Until just recently, actually. In the cosmic sense of 'recently.' When some crazed Australian made some boots. Boots that would change the world. Uggs had an instant connection with the people who inexplicably smell burnt toast.

"We need each other."

Now if you'll excuse me, I can smell my breakfast is almost overdone.

-- Wanda, the Ugg-wearer

11:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wanda, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alright... every possibly humourous thing you could say about uggs has been said. Please stop posting the same tired jokes in every thread. It is clearly a trend that has reached critical mass and will soon dissappear (look at how fast the bracelet fad ended).

God, I hate feeding the trolls like this.

-A guy who thinks uggs are stupid, but not as stupid as posting the same joke six times a day

12:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heh... Nooner spit out just as much shit as Wanda!

12:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

12:28, I don't think you got it. But don't worry, keep reaching for your rainbow.

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is just like the Simpsons "Bear Patrol" argument...

Yes, siezures and the smelling of burnt toast tend to happen at the same time b/c of where the related parts of the brain are located...but to suggest that one is somehow automatically linked to the other is nonsense.

Kind of like uggs and mental retardation...

P.S.
Wanda, that is some seriously funny satire....and I assume/hope it was satire.....

12:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

11:46 I can't tell if you are actually being serious or just sarcastic but burnt toast does not _give_ one seizures (nor does smelling burnt toast). While some people with seizure disorders do have identifiable triggers, I've yet to see a scientific study that lists "burnt toast" as one of them.

12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

12:53, if you can't tell if someone is being sarcastic what makes you think you are smart enough to know what 1) a seizure is and 2) what would cause them. I mean, how could you tell if someone was actually having a seizure, or just taking the piss out of them?

12:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, why does everyone feel the need to try and correct the comments on this site. I guess this point is moot if all the people talking about brain damage and seizures are med students, but somehow I am sure they are holier-than-though-emo art kids trying to ruin everyone's good time.

1:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1:08, I'm neither a med student nor an emo art kid - I am simply astounded at the prevalence of misinformation I encounter on this topic.

12:57, I fail to see the connection that you are trying to make between the ability to detect sarcasm and the ability to know when someone is having a seizure. My reaction to anyone having a seizure would be the same whether that person was joking or not. As far as knowing what causes seizures, I read (it's this skill I picked up in early childhood and seems to have served me well in university).

1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am going to have to agree with 1:08. Everyone DOES try to come off as the smartest person to every have crossed God's green earth on this site. 1:22 proved that point to the T by acting like such a major douche.

1:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

12:00, this is now a room? And we're listening to people? It's the first I've heard of it...

1:27, I love you for using the term "douche".

And on the seizure topic, the woman would smell burnt toast every time she was about to have a seizure...and so when they prodded her brain when she was conscious, and she smelled burnt toast, they knew they'd found the afflicted area and could follow by excising it. END of goddamn story.

:)

-[Emily], the Ugg boot hater.

3:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nobody got that 12:00 was quoting billy madison. shame.

9:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha

12:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, the point is: the girl thought it was connected to HEART ATTACKS.

3:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wait guys...
which is it? heart attacks or seizures?
i almost want to make up with my ex-boyfriend so i can make him breakfast in the morning and make him smell burnt toast to find out.

and besides! Uggs are still so 'it' so just because yo'ure ugly doesn't mean you have to take it out on the only people who happen to be pretty and smart at the same time

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wearing UGGS = pretty and smart?

YOU = dumbass

2:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

2:23 = typical liberal voter

3:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

3:09 - how do you figure?

8:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

3:08, actually I vote NDP not that that has anything to do with my comment. the only thing typical is the fact that you've latched on to an overused comment "typical liberal voter" ...

oh and the fact that I am fairly certain you wear uggs. way to be A-typical. dumbass.

3:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous 2:23, I'd like you to meet a buddy of mine, Anonymous 3:08. I think you've both already met our mutual friend Ad Hominem. I'll let the three of you have some time to get to know each other...

11:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

IDIOTS! SMELLING TOAST DOESN'T CAUSE ANYTHING!

10:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

10:20...

Captain Obvious.....so we meet again...

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

10:20...
then why does everyone else think it does? sheesh what you know everything now?

3:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

3:33 are you serious? please tell me you're not. Smelling toast doesn't cause anything, but it can be a symptom.

5:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

11:09, this entire site is based on people's relationship with Ad Hominem...even your funny (yet snide) remark.

:)

6:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I smell tuna right now, what is that a sign of? Wait a sec, i just queefed...

1:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^ lol... now THAT'S funny...eww

8:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just to set the record straight. Smelling burnt toast or feeling as if spiders are crawling on your arms are two types of common auras that warn a patient of an impending seizure. This does not imply that burnt toast causes a seizure, but it's a common phenomenon that seizure patients say they experience before the onset of their seizure.

2:19 AM  
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4:03 AM  

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