Besides, two more times and his New Year's resolution is down the toilet!

Under-the-Influence Guy: Hey, if I run in there, do you think [the rez desk clerk] will chase after me?
Resident: Umm... I dunno. You never know.
Under-the-Influence Guy: Yeah... maybe you're right. I don't need to be arrested again this year.

-- Alumni House, overheard by Dave