Better than a functional alcoholic.

Girl #1: Dude, I bought the best slutty underwear yesterday.
Girl #2: What makes it slutty?
Girl #1: I define "slutty" as something you wouldn't be able to wear normally, under clothes.
Girl #2: I see ... I don't know, I wear some pretty slutty things normally, under clothes.
Girl #1: So you're a functional slut?

-- UC Hill