Sunday, November 26, 2006

Whoa, you have to think in class?

Girl: We should bring snacks to class.
Guy: No.
Girl: Why not?
Guy: Because I can't eat and think at the same time.
Girl: You are so male.

-- NCB, overheard by Robyn

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

that's fantastic!

10:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I TOTALLY always have snacks in class.

9:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

9:45 is probably that douchebag that always has those foreign noodle concoctions that make everyone in the room gag due to the revolting aroma of BO and guano.

Some other foods that aren't acceptable for public consumption:

-anything with tuna (smells like when my cat pissed in my hockey bag and/or old cooch)

-anything based on eggs (ie egg salad, hard-boiled eggs... there is a reason they are called egg farts... the stench makes me wanna barf all over the place)

-any exotic or foreign spicy foods like babaganoush, curry, seafood, or those things that look like gyros but actually have vegetables and other weird sauces/nut-like things in them... eat these outside of a bar or at your own house, not in a classroom/public space... gross to hear sopisticates sluring on squid tentacles/ inky brine with couscous hanging out of their mouths

-anything made or endorsed by Chef Boyardee--- take your Barfaroni and your thermos and shove it... if you are too cheap or stupid to cook real food, then you shouldn't be allowed to eat, period. Not only does it look like you are gulping down something that Jabba the Hut keeps in a glass jar beside his throne slab, but the raunch of horse meat and pseudo-tomato sauce is simply disgusting.

-Maybe I have a sensitive sniffer, but I think everyone would agree that there is a time and a place to eat sushi (never) or stinky noodles.

Oh ya, showing off your Starbucks coffee cup doesn't make you cool... that swill could choke a horse, and reveals you to the world as a wannabe trendoid/effete poseur. Only Tim Hortons can be consumed in public because you don't sound like a dolt trying to order some fruity-sounding latte grandee non-fatty soy-based stiffy cafechinno extrordinaire.

Thank you.

12:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^ LMAO... marry me.

7:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1238 is probably just narrow minded or more likely poor and ghetto, and just can't pay for a 10 buck latte a day habit neway.

11:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am 9:45.
And for the record:
My snacks are generally tea from Tim Hortons, and a random donut/bagel, whatever is cheap and available at the place I have class. I have early class, and usually have the work the nite before in order to pay for my degree. Mommy and Daddy don't foot all of our tuition bills. So in order to get a decent amount of sleep, I don't have time to eat breakfast, so I get what I can at school before class.
But clearly I am a pretentious consumer of strange and/or expensive snacks. I'm glad you are so good at reading the characters of randoms on the Internet. If you want to vent, you can do it without dragging others into it.

2:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

represent the Canadian coffee only.

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

9:45: I am 12:38.

If you only eat bagels and drink tea or coffee, that is acceptable. I was refering to the people who think they are cool because they eat trendy foreign foods that stink up the classroom, which I'm sure you would agree, is quite selfish and gross. I worked 40-50 hours a week as a butcher at a grocery store which is hard, backbreaking work. The trick to working tons and getting A's is this: Don't sleep or eat. Learn to enjoy deprivations and suffering. Laugh at those wimps who can't do both, or think a job is working 10 hours a week in the summer selling cell phones at a booth or wearing rollerblades in front of the movie theatre handing out free samples of Dr Pepper to kids.

I just drank coffee to quell the hunger pangs, rather than bringing a bistro of raunchy food to class.

I apologize. I wrongly assumed that you were one of those types that thought it was trendy/cool to eat some obscure noodle creations in order to impress those around you.

12:10: I am neither poor nor ghetto, and I spend about $10 a day at Tim Horton's on coffee. Starbucks tastes like garbage and they use predatory business practices. Unlike you, I don't walk around with a Starbucks coffee in my hand thinking I'm so sophisticated and cool. Spending money on coffee or other trendy things doesn't make you cool, in the same way that making ill-informed comments on a website doesn't make you cool (or intelligent).

11:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Starbucks is for pretentious ass holes. I live in Canada, and I will order in English or French. You do not need to correct me when I ask for a "medium." You know what I mean, just fucking make it.

Aslo, Chef Boy Ardee is the best. I don't make anything that I can't make in the microwave, because it's really not worth the effort. I'm not poor, and I'm not stupid. I just don't care.

2:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, back to the Grocery store story: have you ever seen the ingredients on Puritan Irish Stew? You know, the big cans that are like $1.19...

Made with mutton and/or beef and/or poultry and/or venison and/or fish by-products... totally gross and makes Lil' Lisa's Slurry sound good by comparison.

Another reason I hate tuna: my mom refused to buy catfood for our cat because of all the crap that goes into it... she bought tuna instead... but my cat used to spray or piss (whatever male cats do) all over the place... 1 time in my hockey bag (totally disgusting) and this one time on these sweat pants that I didn't realize until later... during the middle of Film 020E class at King's... this chick was like WTF is that smell??? and then it dawned on me... so I pointed to this other guy and was like "man, that guy smells something fierce..."

Felt really guilty about it, since the guy was my friend, but it was worth it... who wants to be the Cat Piss Guy? (PS I got away with it, too!)

Plus, that microwave shit is loaded with salt/sodium... take Mr Noodles for instance (the real one, not the fake ramen noodle stuff)... more salt than you should eat in like a week. Tastes good, but not very good for you.

Anyways, I just hate smelling some of the crap that people eat in class... I guess it goes bake to public school where this girl used to eat the cheap tuna fish sandwiches, the ones that stink up the room, and are probably worse quality than most cat food... we used to call her "Tuna Tina" but it might have been because she always smelled like she wet the bed the night before. I guess I was trying to avoid being given a ridiculous and hurtful name during my early years.

Oh ya, the chant we used to do went like this:

"Do I smell tuna?"
"I think I smell tuna..."
"Yep, I smell tuna..."

then we would break into raucous peals of laughter...

Come to think of it, its not as funny reading this as it was chanting the song and making fake barf gestures back in the 80's

10:58 PM  

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