Wednesday, February 01, 2006

"...Because of all the high-pitched, childish singing that's sure to go on."

Girl: I want to get married at Disney World.
Guy: Me too, I want to get married on the “It’s a Small World" ride.
Girl: Why?
Guy: That way my wife won’t be disappointed on our wedding night.

-- overheard by Brandon

37 Comments:

Blogger Hollywood said...

That is amazing!! Ha ha ha.

11:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ooo snap. i love this. good call by the guy. but let's be honest... there will be no "surprise" on the wedding night. especially if it's a western girl we're talking about!

zing..

12:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i retract that statement. it's not limited to western girls, rather to any university female and/or male.

we're all sluts, people

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So true.....

Does anyone wait until AFTER they've bought the car to go for a test drive?

1:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mmm.... lots of people...

ok... well maybe not LOTS of people... but some of us have convictions that are important to us and are willing to sacrifice some evenings of pleasure to save heartbreak later... and we're hot! you can find us at church...

2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hmm...so let's see....get up on sunday to go to church...miss sleeping in... meet people who are too afraid of "heartbreak" to take a risk....and not have any sex for a long time...

thanks for the offer; I sincerely respect your convictions, but I think I'll pass....

3:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i realize there are some out there. I wasn't saying we're all sluts. ok, i did say that. but clearly there was a bit of sarcasm in there. I'm not a virgin. but i'm far from a slut. i totally respect your religious convictions. and hey, maybe you're right... it does save the conscience and the heartbreak. it just may mean bad sex later. and yes, you guys are hot. i know a mormon. he's smokin.

4:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sadly, according to some faiths sex is only for the purpose of procreation...so I don't think they care whether it's good sex or not. Besides, in general any two people can become amazing at sex if they have enough of it together. It's called taking time to learn what the other person likes...that is pretty much the definition of being good in bed.

Of course, some one-night stands can also be pretty great so I'll just chalk that up to God-given talent. Or a lot of practice. And that's where we get to the (male) sluts!! God bless Western.

4:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also....while I'm definitely not a wait til after marriage type person....

One night stands can also be pretty damn terrible too! Especially if there's alcohol involved! Sadly no glamour like in the movies...

5:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^ Clearly you haven't seen the movie "One Night Stand" because Wesley Snipes paid for that glamour dearly. DEARLY!

5:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL...A lot of people don't wait because of religion, you know.

5:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL...A lot of people do wait because of religion, you know

8:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

5:47... Are you serious??? I thought everybody had to swear an oath of celibacy before starting at UWO

9:19 PM  
Blogger Del Fuego said...

Opiate of the masses.

10:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's the problem with the "no sex before marriage" argument in a nutshell:

You are at a bar. A rep from a brewery approaches you with an offer.

He Says: "If you buy our beer once, you can have it for free for the rest of your life"

You say: "sounds like a good deal, but what's the catch?"

He says:"Once you have our beer, you can never drink anyone else's. Ever."

You say: "Well, can I try it before I agree to this? I don't want to be stuck with lousy beer forever"

He Says: "No. You can't try it first; that's against our principles. You either buy it exclusively and forever or not at all....by the way, we've never sold it to anyone else. You would be our first and only customer."

Who would agree to this deal? Anyone?

11:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But how would you know it was lousy beer, if it's the only one you'd ever tried?

1:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, that might turn you off of "beer" forever, because you'd think that beer was always crap....

....at least if you'd had a good beer before, you could suggest how to improve the crappy beer.....

1:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1:12, It's not the only beer they've ever tried, but they'll be the only one to ever try the beer. Assuming the beer isn't a slut w/ the herpes, of course...

5:58 PM  
Blogger Hollywood said...

Ha ha ha I love the beer thing. Thats awesome. Seriously churchies you dont know what your missing. Sex is amazing for several reasons.
1) stress relief
2) work out
3) feels good (if have good partner)
4) its good for your skin (so says cosmo)
5) if you actually like the person you are with it can be a really moving experience and can change your relationship for the good
6) when and if you do have the heart break you can use it against him and tell all that he sucks in bed.

It really is a win win. Think about it!

12:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you can wait until marriage and still have a great, satisfying sexual relationship, people - lots of things qualify as "sex", in my book at least

p.s. "my book" not "the book" :P

11:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course you CAN do that.....but why miss out on all of the fun beforehand?

12:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well... It's the first virgin back again... and although i admit the beer example stumped me for a second... :) I hope that in all your cleverness you (if you are female) will remember to go see your doctor every 6 mos to get a pap smear and a blood test to make sure you aren't carrying one of 30-someodd STDs, 30% of which are incurable... and many of those which are curable, you won't ever know you have, because the symptoms can lie dormant for 10 years even... if you even get chlamidia 3 times, you might never be able to have children because of the scarring in your uterus.

So many women figure once they're done uni and have nice jobs, and finally find the right man (someone they finally have good sex with!), they will settle down and give in to their maternal instincts and start a family... and then: newsflash, they find out they are sterile. I didn't realize how often this happens. Or we worry about either getting pregnant or getting AIDS, as if those are the two things that could happen to us. Many young women develop cervical cancer because of genital warts... and although it comes from the men/boys, it doesn't affect themin the same way because they don't have such an open system as the women...

Anyway... I just hope those of you who sleep around, even a little, consider that you're not just gonna face "heartbreak", as i suggested before. You are sadly going to somehow, in some way, suffer, down the road, in a way you never evem considered in today's brief pleasure.

If you're having sex and haven't been checked out for STDs, then you are losing more than your virginity - you are increasing your chances to ruin a future you took for granted, or even worse, someone else's...

If you have an ounce of care in your body... you will respect your body, you will respect your partner's body... and you will not pressure them or lead them into any sexual contact outside of marriage, outside of a committed and dedicated relationship!

if you want to know more of what i'm saying, take the time to check out www.pamstenzel.com

Peace... and praying you'll all make wise decisions!

12:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow I couldnt even read all that. Here's one churchie maybe god wants it that way. The world IS over populated you know. And there are so many children in the world that need good homes. God wants you to adopt people. Go forth!

12:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey 12:39....


You're absolutley right about STD's. People should be careful. While many people here have advocated sex before marriage, I think we can all agree that it should be SAFE sex.

That said, outside of the religious argument, I can't understand what these undefined "consequences" you keep talking about are. If people are safe and responsible, why should they be afraid to enjoy themselves?

While I respect your convictions, part of your argument seems to be that people should avoid sex because they will suffer "in some way".....I just can't buy that.

-Beer Guy

12:46 PM  
Blogger Shona said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(from the virgin)

because condoms don't stop you from giving your girl your genital warts.

"safe" sex is sex that's contained in a safe relationship... monogamous... it's just so risky... There are like 6 times more STDs now than there were in the 60s... if you're talking "safe and responsible", I'd say keep your penis in your pants until you're ready to commit.

there are lots of things in the Bible that seem like unfair rules. but most of them are for our own protection, or especially the culture in which they were written (like why Jews weren't supposed to eat unclean animals and had to ceremonially wash all the time), but have SO much benefit if they are followed today...

2:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still say god wants us all to adopt. Look lady you can't knock it till you've tried it. I dont know about everyone else but I dont really enjoy having sex with guys who are virgins because they suck and it does not last long.

4:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Virgin,

I guess what it all comes down to is our perceptions of acceptable risk levels. I am of the view that it is reasonably safe to enjoy your sex life before marriage, provided that you use protection and get tested on a regular basis. I am of the opinion that the benefits of the experiance gained (both for yourself and for the other people involved) can easily outwiegh the risks provided that precautions are taken.

In North America, we are substantially more likely to die in a car accident than of an STD. Does this mean we don't drive? No. We drive sober and carefully (or at least, we should).

While religious rules often have good reasons behind them, and can be useful as guidance, applying them in all cases is, in my view, a poor substitute for individual judgement.

Just My opinion.

-Beer Guy

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i wonder if you'd think any differently if you were a woman. All I mean is that we all know men and women are different, with women being more emotional. i wonder if the girls you have slept with have come away as unscathed and nonchalant as you. as a woman, i can't imagine walking away from someone who has just experienced me at my most vulnerable, without either feeling extremely attached and emotional, used, or disgusted.

i don't know, i just wonder

-virgin

1:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Virgin,

You've raised a good point about emotional risk. Believe me, it cuts both ways; guys can end up attached or hurt after sex too, although I admit that it tends to hit women more, on average.

The key is honesty; you have to be willing to tell the person whether you want a long-term, exclusive relationship or not before anything happens. Many people lie through their teeth at that point, and to me that is totally unacceptable.
It isn't always an easy thing to say or to hear from somone, but to me at least, getting hurt is part of the risk I take in living. But again, I totally get where you're coming from.

-Beer Guy

9:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Virgin,

I take issue with your "statement" that women "[are] more emotional." Perhaps this is true within your own circle of friends, but I know some pretty callous women and some pretty emotional guys. I know that people generalize all the time, but that doesn't make it right; isn't the point of attending an institution of higher learning to developpe a sense of context and perspective that goes beyond narrow-minded generalizations? If the best you can come up with (after being trumped on all other arguments) is that women are more emotional so consider that, I'd say you have a lot of growing up to do.

6:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm 6:51, I don't disagree with you at all - I know I have a lot of growing to do. Some learn, then think they know everything. I learn because I can readily admit I really don't.

Anyway, I'm sorry for offending you with my generalization. I was wrong.

I know some very emotional guys as well. My callous sister almost married one. Ironically. But even she has a emotional, hypersensitive side to her that people don't often see. It's humanity.

Great, I say, for the people who can separate their hearts from their actions and biochemistry.... Great for the people who have protected/unprotected sex and escape std/child/sterile-free . Great for all of them.

What about the people who get married and settle down into a monogamous relationship and find they are always comparing their life-partner to old "exciting" escapades...

What about the people who suffer flashbacks because of previous experiences...

What about people who can't get over their life-partner's previous life.

There is something to be said for innocence. For the simple pleasure of learning with someone. Of learning how to please and enjoy one another. Of exposing your innermost self to someone, knowing you are completely safe, knowing they are not dragging 50 ex-gf/bf into your mind picture.

There is something so romantic about the anticipation of your discovering a whole new dimension to the one you love after your wedding... that is taken away when you cohabit with them.

Anyway... I obviously can't (and don't want to) force anyone to think as I do, but for me the facts sit in front of me. I make my choice. You make yours. We are each acting a little in faith. Mine in God, You, maybe, in feminism?

-virg

5:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(and we all hope we're right)

5:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

because God and feminism must, by extension, be separate and distinct from one another? Any person who believes in fair and equal treatment of all people is a feminist. This means that men can also be feminists. Further, unless you believe he subscribes to a heirarchy of gender, then God must be a feminist as well. So, in using the term without really understanding what it means,what exactly are you trying to achieve?

P.S. If someone can't get over their life partner's past, they wouldn't be together in the first place. As for people who suffer flashbacks, I'm going to assume that you're referring to some kind of assault, otherwise it would be a moot point. So, in making such a statement, are you suggesting that it would be the victim's fault? That's sick. As for nostalgia for the past, we all experience that, and not all for the same reasons. You assume that anyone who has experienced a physical relationship in the past would automatically be nostalgic for that, which is problematic in many obvious ways that do not require statement. So, in closing, I agree w/ 6:51. You are in dire need of some perspective.

5:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i was not trying to say that god and feminism were opposites... and i definitely did not mean that feminism was a bad thing. i was trying to figure out from what she wrote where she came from.

i wish i were able to communicate effectively with everyone, but i'm not... so i'll just leave off with some people who are.

"kissed the girls and made them cry" - lisa bevere
"sex has a price tag" - pam stenzel, www.pamstenzel.com/home.html (email her if you have any questions, she'll write back)

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God of the Bible has roles for men and women, fair and equal, but those roles are NOT the same roles. It's fair for a basketball player to be able to switch to football without discrimination, but it doens't mean it should happen. Woman work all you want, but the Bible has role for women. Not to say they can't work and fulfill that role of course. It's funny how 5:01 that you totally twist what VIR is saying. I'm a Christian that has had sex. i read someone saying "don't knock it until you try it" yeah, i tired it and it's makes the Christian life harder because sex is definately something that leaves scars. I'm not sure if y'all understand what it means to be Christian in the sense that it's not about rules and that's what bugs me. It's about having a personal relationship with God. If you want to talk to me about that i'm down. come to my page and comment, we can go from there. It's great to learn about relationships, but when you come into one that means to world, don't you wish to offer them the best, not some jumble of shards from a broken heart? It's kinda like that with God. It's a deep and personal relationship that goes beyond rules. There is two parts of christians, the sinful nature and the Godly half. my sinful nature wants sex, i won't deny saying it's pretty sweet. And it's fair to say that those that have not tried do not know, but i also see the destruction of it. Relationships are never the same after, i dont' think there is anyway to deny that. Yes for good, but i've only seen the ultimate evil of it all. With divorce rates so high it makes me wonder if they world has it right or not? How can society have marriage and relationships right if it ends in divorce so often? So i choose God now. This world holds nothing compared to his greatness. That's something i would like to say "don't knock it until you tried it" to. enochtang.blogspot.com

10:49 AM  
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4:27 AM  

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